What has become amazingly evident to me lately is that my life is about hard work. It is a journey that continuously provides me opportunities to learn new lessons. In every single moment of every day, when I am being aware of my thoughts and emotions and observing them without judgement, there is always something that I have available in my field of view to see, and therefore, learn from. Only when I choose to accept, engage, and work as hard as I need to, will I be able to fully understand and then integrate the lesson(s) into my life. Each lesson is truly a gift, regardless of how I perceive the level of difficulty. I trust that I am personally here to experience extremes of thought and emotion through a series of clever lessons life chooses to present me with.

 

When I consciously choose to learn through the opportunities life affords me, I make room for new lessons to come into my view. But, when I choose to ignore learning a lesson being presented to me, I always find myself operating on ‘auto-pilot’, or in other words, unconsciously. When I stay in my unconscious pattern of behaviour, all I notice around me are opportunities to learn how to unravel that pattern over and over again. This message eventually becomes clear to me in the form of my thoughts and emotions I’m having at the time when I decide to stop being stubborn and ‘tune into’ them. Often, in this space I find my thoughts and emotions are focused around the desire that I wish my life was easier. Simply put, I wish I could hide or escape altogether from life sometimes. I wish I could hit “pause” sometimes on life and just make it stop, if only for a little while. But this is not reality, this is fear driven by my ego. It is irrational fear that I have of learning my next lesson(s) and of doing the work required to learn those lessons. Realistically my options are: live or die. I choose to live because I choose to accept my gifts and the responsibilities that come with them. It is my solemn promise to myself that I will always find the courage I need to face my life with conscious awareness.

 

To combat the heavy thoughts and feelings I often have, I find that humour is an amazing outlet. I believe being able to laugh and have a sense of humour about my life is equally as important as taking my lessons seriously and learning from them. For a very long time, I was not aware that I have ‘goofy’ as a personality trait. However, through a lot of silly things happening in my life due to the fact that I am highly energetic, impatient, and oftentimes clumsy and awkward, I have finally begun to embrace this characteristic of myself. I find that when life gets really difficult, sometimes the only thing I can do is laugh at how incredible and incomprehensible my experience on this planet truly is and then magically, it makes things more manageable.

 

I often say “when in doubt, dance it out.” I believe dancing to be another very important outlet in my life because it allows me to let my body move the way it naturally needs to in order to express itself in that moment. It is truly an amazing feeling when I am able to have the courage to stop judging myself long enough to allow my body to sync with natural flow of the moment. I believe there is a rhythmical foundation that my life is based on, and every moment is a new expression of my dance, whether I consider myself to be actually dancing or not.

 

When I am courageously leaning in to the stream of continuous lessons in my life, I find that I feel alive, vital, and empowered. Although accepting and working at certain lessons at times is really energetically taxing, the result of my dedication to hard work and courage shines a light on the darkness and frees up space in my consciousness. Masks of my ego which require energy to function in my being unconsciously, such as: self-loathing, hatred, frustration, disappointment, fear, doubt, insecurity, shame, and guilt begin to dissolve, and in its place I am filled with a brand new energy that rushes in to fill the space. New energy in the form of: inspiration, love, confidence, self-esteem, gratitude, acceptance, patience, joy, fulfillment, and resilience. With this energy shift comes a greater awareness of potential opportunities surrounding me that I may now direct my new energy towards.

 

The sooner I begin to take responsibility for my life 1 the sooner I will be able to accept the person I am and work with all that I was given in this life. After receiving the prestigious “Loch Ness Monster Award” for being the “hardest person to find when you need him” at a recent work party for my part-time job, I now realize that I don’t have to be perfect. Even though I was blatantly made publicly aware of how I have a tendency to hide in my thoughts or physically ‘ghost’ when I’m tired of being around other people at work, those same people still accept and respect me because I am willing to courageously look at, work hard on, and laugh at this quirk I have in my personality. In other words, I have agreed to take responsibility for my own thoughts, emotions, and choices, even in times where I have moments of weakness. In my moments of weakness, I apologize, open my heart to guidance, and let others know that it is my intention that I will try my best to learn from my own mistakes.

 

By becoming more and more consciously aware of the choices I make through the many lessons gifted to me, I am freeing myself to explore the true depths and richness of my own personal experience in this life. I want to truly live while I’m alive so that when I leave this world, I will know in my heart that I lived boldly with purpose, loved fiercely, and fully accepted the real intensity that life offered to me.

Notes:

  1. Thank you Adam Detillieux for your wisdom on stressing the importance of taking responsibility for one’s own life

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